It was interesting that foie gras was on the menu as I was feeling rather like a force-fed goose. 

It was my penultimate night aboard the MSC Splendida sailing around the Western Mediterranean.

The dinner menu contained its usual five courses. Foie gras or gratinated oysters were followed by a creamy cauliflower soup with pistachios. Even the lighter alternative, a beef consommé, had stuffed tortolloni lurking at the bottom.  Pasta or risotto preceded a rack of lamb or turbot fillet.

And to completely finish you off, a dessert menu contained several temptations and cheese plates were always available.

The first night I’d managed four courses whilst my partner Roy, wimped out from day one by insisting on a starter and main. By the end of the week, I was also down to two courses with one of them chosen from the healthy alternatives.

It wouldn’t have been too bad if this was our only meal of the day.  But breakfast and lunches would have been equally sumptuous and a la carte if we’d not decided to eat al fresco from a simple buffet on the top deck where we were controlled portion size. 

However, we did have to run the gauntlet of the ‘pasta gazebo’, erected on non-windy days, where a chef in immaculate whites piled plates with pasta and the sauce of the day.

Not content with food at mealtimes, it was all around us.  At morning coffee and afternoon tea, a cake lounged on the bar to tempt. 

To be fair, afternoons also provided a magnificent array of chopped fruits which the AC Milan football team, who just happened to be on board, tucked into.

A pre-dinner glass of prosecco in the Top Sail Lounge was accompanied by canapés and whilst we were at dinner, the display table was converted from savoury to sweets, just in case you got hungry on the quarter mile walk from the restaurant at the back of the ship.

Not content with ‘pillow chocolates’, we returned to our cabin on two nights to find chocolate dipped strawberries and macaroons.

And on discovering it was our 25th anniversary, we were presented with a huge cake after dinner.

We politely wolfed down an obligatory slice and were relieved when it was returned to the kitchen but dismayed to find it had made its way back to our cabin via our personal butler.

I had intended to weigh myself prior the cruise so I could check the inevitable weight gain but fortunately forgot. 

I also forgot until my first day back at work, that I’d booked a glucose and cholesterol test on site. 

Whilst I passed the glucose test with flying colours, the nurse couldn’t get enough blood from four pricked fingers for the cholesterol test. 

It’s probably just as well: I suspect prosecco was still coursing through my veins.