It has been a difficult time for the creative industry. Many jobbing actors and TV ‘personalities’ have struggled to find work. C listers were no doubt rubbing their hands with glee once a firm offer for an appearance on I’m a Celebrity came through the letter box. Besides that, there has been little of note to entertain and engage us just when we need it most. Yes, there have been Zoom theatre and music appearances, but much like the heralded ‘virtual drink up’ it is just not the same, nowhere near it in fact, as some continue to try and fool us into thinking that attempting to culturally nourish the masses remotely is the real deal, when it clearly is not.

TV has brought us rehashes and even more compilations of supposed ‘best bits’ when we are all aware it is but clutching at straws as they have nothing new to offer us, so they just repackage the same old toot to tease us into watching. At times it’s as if television execs are praying for a death so they can use it as an excuse to play the Connery, Windsor or Maradona back catalogue with impunity.

Yet, there is some inspiration, and against all hope, some socially distanced game shows have managed to shoulder Dad’s Army to one side as we get a small taste of the new.

Television

Television

First up is Michael McIntyre’s The Wheel. I’m not sure of the concept and it is not the modern-day Price is Right. There is little drama, it is impossible to win at, is slow and cumbersome and will no doubt leave Macintyre looking toward sacking his agent. Like watching snowboarding on TV, they attempt, in vain, to sex it up by playing some loud music washed down with a few third-rate visual effects but there is no escaping the sheer monotony of this prime-time dross.

In competition, and against the grain, as his usual offerings are indeed ‘Dyer’, is Danny who spends as much time pretending to be a geezer as his does doing anything of cultural note. Yet, inexplicably, The Wall is a future classic as it has everything the wheel is missing, with drama, intrigue, luck and skill as the contestant is reliant on making strategic decisions before relying on another to get them across the winning line.

In cinema, little of note, despite the odd release on Amazon Prime, the most heralded being the Borat subsequent movie film. Much hyped and anticipated, I don’t believe I have ever been so excited by a new release, or more disappointed by the final product. It was dreadful, crude, unfunny, juvenile and looked as if it had been written by a final year GCSE media student.

Television

Television

In TV sport, which seems to get worse as the terrestrial mainstays fall further behind the subscription services year on year in terms of offerings, the only standout was the televised ‘tag’ tournaments where grown men, obviously displaying a penchant for parkour, chase each other around against the clock to slap them on the ankles.

What tag tells us is that the go tos now are the old favourites. Tag has been repackaged but it is a game I played, as did my mother before me and it is only a matter of time before we have British bulldog championships live on Channel 5 (although no doubt the word ‘British’ would be dropped to save causing offence for some unfathomable infraction of a woke person's sensibilities).

It seems the only cultural nourishment we have, is undertaken more to fulfil financial obligations, that to please the masses. Football is back and being played pretty much behind closed doors again as a few fans are allowed in, in some areas, and then expected to be thankful for it. Sitting alone in the cold as you are forced to wear a mask whilst your team spends half the game diving on the floor as they ignore your very existence whilst VAR puts the final nail in the football coffin, you must wonder if this is really entertainment.

The single reason for this folly is that Sky would no doubt be demanding huge refunds if the PL could not fulfil their end of the bargain, so sod the fans, or the global pandemic, as long as we can wheel the cash cow performing showpony out in order to keep the revenue streams flowing, as that’s the real motivation… isn't it?

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher